Sayang I love you..

I really do..

Our Short Story

When I got engaged the other day, people often asking me how I met him, how we finally end up to marriage thing. Okay, this lens is going to be about how me and my future husband met each other. I hope you'll find it entertaining. First of all, I would like to thank Mark Zuckerberg and his little idea called Facebook. I'm sure Mark Zuckerberg has heard many I-found-love-on-Facebook stories through the years, but my love story is unlike any other. I never knew when I created a Facebook account to connect with friends and relatives, might be in 2007 I guess. 

When I met my future husband, I had been in a relationship with someone else. Honestly, my previous relationship always doesn’t last long (less than 5months) for reasons that I would say men that I met were mostly a jerk. You know, the men who were much older than they claimed, the ones who were definitely not looking for anything beyond a bed buddy and the guy who not only ordered my tea but waited until I paid for both of us and then claimed the change. The relationship had been dead for about 3months, and I was thinking about leaving the relationship anyways, but I always find difficulty to end a relationship, have no gut to do that. So one day, I was on Facebook and  was chatting with some people in my buddy list ( well, since I’d only approved people on Facebook so basically I don’t even know them all). I thought of seeking an advice about ending my relationship from the unknown friends, so I chose people randomly and start chatted. 

Okay how I met my future husband was when he added me randomly from his Facebook with no mutual friends. It was in 2008 before he went to UK to pursue his studied. I’d just approved him at that time without bothered who he was. We’ve never chatted or commented on each other wall since then until 2009 he got back from UK. To begin with, we were on chat without knowing each other, and I seeking his advices about my relationship and he gave a good responds to it. I then managed to end my relationship but as time flies, I realized that the man that I’ve known from Facebook had been a good listener to all my problems, my joys and pains. We’re being good friends after that, and we shared problems together and most of the time love and relationship would be our main topic since he had been into a relationship that time. Since then, we instant messaged each other for days, for hours at a time. I couldn't put what I felt for him into any logical perspective. My hands shook in anticipation and my stomach fluttered every time I saw him pop up on my buddy list. I have no idea why but I know my feeling towards him was not more than just a friend. And so, I met another guy accidentally on Facebook and again I got into a relationship with another man. And again, as expected I broke up with my previous ex. I had been in several relationships within the past two years that were toxic, damaging to my self-esteem and to my understanding of love. Sigh!

As usual, we always keep in touch each other every day and this time around he talked much about his girlfriend and their relationship. Although we’ve been busy with work, we sometimes dropped a line. However, day by day, I only listened about his relationship that’s going to end and he was so upset. Almost every day I listened to the same problems of his, and like always, I gave him courage, advice, motivate him and stayed on call with him until 2-3am in the morning. Nak jadikan cerita jugak, last2 dia pun break dengan ex dia (I start rojak malay yeah). Later on, we continued chatted about work, about my studies, no love no relationship topic like before. Finally, after chatting for one year and a half, I realized that I missed him, this man I had never even met. We finally managed to meet in person on February 2011!! =)

He came and pick me up at my house and we had a casual tea evening date and we never stopped talking until all night long. It was like we had known each other for years. From that day we were never apart, we see each other every day, we had our lunch together and run for a movie at night. We’ve been best friend not long after that when he confessed that he likes me and I realized that I was accidentally fell in love with him but was afraid that it’s gonna end up like all my previous blows. But giving myself another chance to fell in love again with him was really worth it. I had never felt this connected to anyone before, never missed anyone so much, never felt my heart jump when I heard like it did when I heard his voice. We knew what we had was a once in a lifetime kind of special. 

From the day we met, it was barely five months later when he asked me to be his wife. We both decided to take step further into this relationship. He then met my parents, and we got engaged on October 18^{th 2011}. Our relationship and engagement has had the expected ups and downs (as any relationship should), but it is a dance. We may grow apart for awhile, fight, be immature and selfish, but we always find ourselves back together, embracing, and moving as one.  I have come to understand the meaning of love as it was meant to be.  It is grace, a necessary redemption, and a beautiful transcendence from the ugliness we all have inside of us.

After been dating for 10 months, we finally tie the knot on December 4^th 2011. I’d never know that sometimes our future is sitting right before our eyes. We just need to open them long enough to see it. And finally, I learned over time that the "What if we hadn't met?" question is an unfathomable one for me. My future husband, who is now also my best friend, who will be the father to my kids all rolled into one, might, be just another stranger I once met on internet (Facebook). It's nice to know that once in a while, fate really does matter. =)

Everyone should know this..

When people who proud of their English, annoyed me?

I make this question because many people (malaysian) I would say are so proud with their so-own-english. Maybe because it sounds cool or the USA dominates the world, or English is the global lingua franca. Honestly, English is my native language and I'm not proud of it. But I don't see it as something to be proud or ashamed of. Your mother tongue is your mother tongue and everyone has to have one. I do think that people who speak English and only English should be ashamed of themselves.

I'm saying this because I've seen people with different background who were so proud with this language, after they got back from overseas or after gone through certain level of English education. Duhh! I called this Culture Shock! But sometimes the worst culture shock of all comes when you return home. Hello! nobody cares about your travels or how long you've been stayed abroad. Be proud of your origins, but don’t be obsessed with telling every single person you meet about your experiences staying abroad.

True when I said this because I've met someone who hasn’t lived in Malaysia for quite a while, he changes his accent and suddenly sounds like a rather constipated Queen of England with a numb tongue. Hold your horse though. Even me, myself, sometimes my looks and my diction often leave people wondering about my nationality. But I damn not proud of it at all. When I speak English I try to "neutralize" my accent from my first language (Malay). When I try to sound like a Mat Salleh, part of the reason is perhaps inferiority complex, the other is because I don't construct my Malaysian identity on Malaysian English. I find Malaysian who fake their accent DISGUSTING and TRYING VERY HARD to be someone whom they are not, and worse still, some cant fake it perfectly and I always laugh at these people. I DON'T speak with an American accent at all, and I'm immensely proud of being Malaysian! =)

p/s : I also meant the general Malaysian, not someone who had international schooling or who had lived abroad for years.

18 days and Counting

It’s hard to believe, but as of today, the wedding is only 18 days away!  It’s just around the corner! I’m feeling quite nervous today, about how much we’ve done compared to how much we’ve got left. According to our wedding check list, we’ve completed 5 things, and have 3 more to go!  Not as good as I would have hoped, but still pretty good. 

I’ve been slowly chipping away at things this past week, doing little things like confirming our MC.  At this point, all that’s left is a lot of “confirm” this and “final meeting with”. It feels good to have gotten so far, but I’d love to have a smaller number of items outstanding.

That being said, I’m afraid I might have to un-check something as well, and figure out something fast!  I’ve to look up a strapless bra to wear under my wedding dress, white shoes and so many more. Huh! I’m just going to cross my fingers, and hope for the best.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku....

Ya Allah… gantikanlah di tempat keresahan ini dengan kedamaian,
di tempat kedukaan dgn kegembiraan

dan di tempat ketakutan dgn keamanan

Ya Allah, sejukkanlah gejolak hati ini dgn salji keyakinan
dan padamkanlah bara dijiwa dgn air keimanan..
Ya Allah..buatlah mata yg tdk mahu lelap

merasa mengantuk yg memberi ketenangan,

dan letakkanlah di jiwa yg goncang ini kedamaian,

dan berilah balasan baginya
dgn kejayan yg sudah hampir

Ya Allah… halakanlah kebingungan pandangan hatiku kpd nur cahaya-MU
dan tindakan-tindakan ku yg keliru kpd jalan MU yg lurus..
dan palingkanlah org2 yg menyimpang dari jalan MU
kpd hidayah MU

Ya Allah… lenyapkanlah was-was dgn fajar cahaya kebenaran,
dan hapuskanlah jiwa yg resah dgn falak kebenaran,
dan tolaklah tipu daya syaitan dgn tentera bantuan-MU
dlm keadaan terhina...

Ya Allah,lenyapkanlah dukacita ku, hilangkanlah kesedihanku,
sembuhkanlah kesakitanku.. dan halaulah keresahan dari jiwaku...

Ya Rabbi…Ya Tuhanku… Aku berlindung kpd-MU
dari rasa takut, kami bersandar dan berserah hanya kpd -MU,

Aku tidak meminta tolong melainkn kpd-Mu

Engkaulah pemelihara ku….

sebaik2 pelindung dan penolong…

Ameen YA ALLAH

 

- Took it from MakNGohSelamoh, thank you sangat untuk doa ini-

Things We Had Fun Together and Things I Want To Do With Him

1. Catch for a movie
2. Ride on ATV
3. Go for fishing
4. Waterfall picnic
5. Playing kite
6. Going to the fun fair
7. Karaoke
8. Playing Badminton
9. Go to the Zoo
10. Go Biking
11. Rent a movie and watch them together
12. Set off fireworks
13. Hiking
14. Go Camping
15. Write each other poetry
16. Cook a few recipes together
17. Go to the gym and work out together
18. Go to a music concert or theatre.
19. Write a list on a book 50 things that we like about each other
20. Go to a library and study together
21. Plan a trip
22. Share about our goals and values
23. Watch Firefly
24. Ride on a canoe

Funfair!

Last night, me and fiance went to funfair! 10minutes from house, Ampang nearby. I have not thought about funfair for years. I used to go there as a kid with my family. After seeing flashlight laser two days ago, I wanted to checked it out. I knew there must be something, and happy to found out that it was really a funfair, a local funfair.

It was a nice weather after rained. I had a good time nevertheless. Well, I usually don't like my phone camera's night pictures, but these turned out quite okay, so I hope you enjoy them.

We parked at MCD station opposite.

Mary Go Round! I guess, that was a smirk smile.. (cause he's afraid of heights) heheheh..

Acting manja depan kesayangan.. =)

View from the top, Mary Go Round.

Bumper car!

Eceh!! =P

We spent RM4 for one round bingo??

All the fun of the fair!!

I believe I can fly?

October Memories

Sorry for the late post, been busy for the preparation. Anyway, I hope it won't be late to post these out!

1. My convocation day!!!!!! awww... thank you B!

 2. Playing kite!!!!!!!! =) weeee.... one wish had been fulfill!

The Cutest Criminal!

Take a break! : When Pingu have criminal mind~

Rules of Gentleman is back!

Sayang! I love you!

I want that your hand hold mine to go miles nd miles...
I want that your arms only to catch when i fall..
I want that your eyes only see me...
I want that your ears only to listen me...
I want that your lips only kiss me...
I want that your heart only beating for me...
I want that your shoulder only for me to let sleep...
I want that YOU B only love me...
Your soul... ♥

This when I feel so rosy and lovely when he called me.. Awwww.. yes you might say you didn't do anything, but its really affect me and my feelings! I love you tau tak!

Ponia loves Apoponey (in cartoon's life)

GIRL'S LANGUAGES :

GIRL'S LANGUAGES :

If She Don't Text You :
-Its Because She's Waiting For You To Text Her

When She Walks Away From You Mad :
-Follow Her

When Shes Quiet :
-Ask Her What's Wrong

When She Ignores You :
-Give Her Your Attention

When She Pushes YOU AWAY :
-Pull Her BACK

When You See Her Crying :
-Wipe Her Tears & Ask What's Wrong

When She Says Go Away :
-Just Go Close To Her & Give Her Hug ♥

Wedding Blues!

At first, I love wedding preparation. Its beautiful thing to do, and like everyone else, I want to have that  sweet touch for my special day. And at first, I was sure that wedding planning wouldn't stress me out.. But seriously, it's definitely getting to me.

The only two things that have me stressed are the buying/renting costs and the money.

If the cost was cut even further, I wouldn't be stressed about the money.

If money was ever-flowing, I wouldn't be stressed about all the cost. But boy, do those come hand in hand.

I am constantly thinking of ways to cut back and trying to figure out the best possible way to keep the cost low, but those to-do list are so important and I don't think there is extra things to add on. Oh-My-God. I thought its a happy thing to do, for it is for this happy marriage. Marriage supposed to be a happy thing to think of, you know, excitement, joy and laughter. But then again its not as easy as that. Arghhh! Well at least, I know I am not the only lady to feel this way when it comes to wedding planning. I really thought I had this stress under control. :(

Now I am overwhelmed and emotional. So maybe this is a precursor to marriage...

A good massage for him

Don't get me wrong, not ME that gave him a massage, but that CHAIR. Why not ME? not yet.. when the time comes.. I will! Well, we went out to Times Square and heading to 7th Floor, as he wants to look the largest indoor bazaar there. After hours of walked, I've decided to treat him with massage! Doesn't cost much, RM5 for 15minutes. But hey, 15minutes for exhausted and with that tired looks of him, it was very worth!

Look! Look at him! Dari muka kerut- kerut sampai fell asleep. What did I do? Jadi bodyguard dia lar mase ni.. =)

If I give him a massage nanti, I will have him lay on his stomach and get on top of him. But I won't wear any clothes. :P Use lots of oils and rub his back! Well, occasionally I will lay on him and let my chest rub on his back. Lalalala.

Gets my man in the mood every time. :)))

Roses & Love Cards

I got flowers yesterday.
It wasn't our anniversary, my birthday or any other special day.
We had our argument yesterday.
I know he is sorry for what he had done and for the things he said.

Flowers makes me happy, but your present that makes me the happiest person alive! Anyway, this is the 3rd flowers I've ever received from him.

Red Rose~ I love Roses!

Sayanggg... Im sorry toooo....

Awww b.....

This is the 1st Card from him

I miss you toooooooo b!

B.. Thank you for all this... I really appreciate it. I love you B..

When silent is deafening the ears of the heart...

Can you hear my heart screaming out your name...


                  .................................................................................................... Perhaps,


My heart has been muted, my tongue has been taken out, as harsh words were used violently.....


...... i need to learn body language . . . .  . . .  Oh God please help me.......................

When silent is the loudest cry

Im a poet who has wasted

All of her rhymes.

There is nothing to write. Just sit and bleed.

More than words

I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it

Fighting

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months and 3 days. I love him so much and Im sure he feel the same way too. Okay, we started dating and everything was perfect before, and we never fought. But as time progressed, it seems as though we fought more and more and I always end up in tears.  We still have fun together of course...lots of laughter, but we fight a lot. Im at a loss at what to do at the moment cause we just argue about anything and yes it's always comes from me. Im the one who always pick up a fight. So when emotions escalated to shouting, I knew something had to change. I had to change. There was something to be learned here. 

When we get into fighting, he doesn't show much emotion he gets angry with me, which he says it is  my fault cause I make him angry and sad when we argue, I guess thats fair enough Im the same its just he used to be so calm and all I want him to do is to take my hand when Im upset and look at me and tell me that he loves me and everything is gonna be alright. However, he really takes a long time to cool me down before i started to yelled all over things. I always say i can't cope anymore and Im leaving him but at the end of it all I go back to him cause we both say we want a future together and we love each other. There's a point that I don't think I can't live with him if its like this all the time. And I have a feeling like one of those days I'm not going to be able to handle it anymore and we will split.But then, those evil thoughts in mind blown away when at the end of fighting, we have that "honest talk" together about things that we fought for. He we hold me, and look into my eyes, cooling me down. Light a light bulb off in my head, I began to soften up, and began to relax. When I relaxed, I forgave, and released something from the past. 

I don't want this to happen, but sometimes nothing seems to work. I always want to talk with him about how we need to stop because things are going to get worse if we don't especially when we are getting married soon.. soon enough. I know, Im a sensitive person and admit the groundless jealousy in me and always had this worry wart about him. I just want him to know that I do and I do care about him. Always! I could only wish and pray to Allah S.W.T to make us a strong person in facing all obstacles and trials of life and lead us to a happy life forever, until.. the end of a time.

 

Im always seek for solving all problems through good motivation articles,  and this is one I took from one article about how to cope with fighting in a relationship:-

"Shut up and touch. Brooke says there's a point where discussing the matter doesn't help. So couples need to just hold each other when nothing else seems to be working. "Reconnecting through touch is very important." - Im totally agree with this point. Thank you.

 

Idea # 1 : Cheese Store...

Hi guys!!

I believe each one of us love cheese.. if we at a Pizza Hut we would order the pizza with extra cheese right? we love it when we bite the taste of fresh and chewy cheese are freaking delicious. I love it too... I just love the texture, the smell and the taste of it.

And most of us love it too... That's why I figure out, why not we set up a Cheese Store!! then someone said, "we can buy Cheese kat Giant lah.." or "Tesco pun ade maaaa"...and "Manede orang jual Cheese saje"... well the problem is that, cheese in Hypermarket are normally to be compliment to Spaghetti or Pizza and etc..

But there are so many types of cheese that we never heard of.. but not everyone can appreciate the other kind of cheese except for those have tasted it or know the value of it... And most of them are Chefs or foreigners or people who used to be living in the europe for years and have the chance to taste various kinds of cheese.

Well to be honest, i have not taste other cheese than Mozarella.. and I don't know how to make one either.. but what i do know is that, there are no Cheese Store yet in Malaysia, so this would be the best opportunity to be the pioneer in the cheese industry. Well there's so much work and thinking to be put on so I pray to god this could work. Insya-Allah. till next time... adios...

P/S : It ain't easy, to be cheesy~

My BIG to do list

For my wedding of course! Its a big list and a Im a bit scared..

1. Wedding Venue - Bora Ombak
2. Marriage Course   Done!
3. Doorgifts
4. Wedding Cake
5. Wedding Couture
6. Photographer
7. Hantaran
8. Bilik Pengantin
9. Invitation Cards

WE ARE ENGAGED!!

Hello Thereee!!

Yup that's right, as stated in the above title, ponia & apoponey are Engaged!We are so thrilled cause right after getting engaged, we are now planning for the Day of Our Lives,The Wedding!! On this coming December! Its going to be hectic i assure you, but Insya-Allah, our cause are good, so may God helps us in making it come true.Amin~ Well, got to go, as for those who were not at our Engagement Day, here are somes photos for you guys to look at. Enjoy!! daaaa~

Engagement Day!

Fiance & Fiancee"