Hardwork to Overwork leaving me crumble under pressure!

I am in the worst situation, now I am totally stressed out about my parents perception and of top of it my job stresses me out really bad. I swear to god, one more week of this shit without any hope of getting out and I'm going to be a fucking basket case. I knew they would be so shocked if I quit because I always say I like the job and try to keep a positive happy attitude. Everyone think everything is fine. The truth is that I started grinding my teeth at night and I am so stressed out I cry all weekend and count down the minutes till Monday. For the past few weeks, I was not enjoying my weekend with my love one when I know tomorrow is Monday and I feel sick already at the thought of going to the office. Being in the office setting always in the spotlight makes me so stressed, I thought it would help me to be more outgoing and its too much!

I also feel so terrible because I am losing this job. I work in a very busy Reinsurance Organization where I have to be on top of things and there is responsibility and constant contact with people, clients and etc. Working with a huge flow if people is so emotionally draining and stresses me out really bad. I don’t know what to do. I will never be able to get a job as high paying and that offers benefits. But who cares, I don’t care about the salary, its just making me sick. My family will be so disappointed and people will wonder what is wrong with me because I am quitting my job. I would let down all the people that were proud I got the job, which they don’t know that I am in the worst situation. I hate my job and I'm very depressed because of a colleague who gives everyone hell. I'm so pissed and depressed. If people would let me work at my own pace, they'd love the outcome. Rush or push me into something and I just lose all genuine interest. As a result, I have so much trouble sleeping at night because I know the sooner I fall asleep, the sooner I'm back at the office in misery. I wish it could be Saturday or Sunday when I wake up every day.

On top of that, it may take forever to find a new job being that so many people are out of work. It seems hopeless and it's killing me. The job market is so bad, I may not be able to find another job. Sigh.

Looking at my watch for the millionth time. Time passes by but the days go slow. Sigh. And with long hours and heavy workloads means now I really NEED a long holiday to avoid burning out and escape the gloom and doom. How I wish and want to learn to discover a new country, learn a new skill or do some volunteer work. Instead of walking from desk to the printer, there's a whole range of walking, camping and adventure tours to enjoy out there. Yes, backpacking! I want to travel, lay down at the beach under the sun with the wind of the sea touches my face and listening to the waves. Haaaaaaa……. Soothing.

T.I.R.E.D

I don't want to be tied down now.


I just want to be free.

Let me be your favourite Paparazzi

Title : Mohd Aqeel Kamarudin - P.S : This picture is NOT for sale!

It don't have a price

Loving you is cherry pie

Cause you know that, I

Im your biggest fan

I'll follow you until you love me.

Papa Paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind

But I won't stop 

Until that boy is mine

Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa Paparazzi

I love you Mohd Aqeel Kamarudin

Break-fast at Chili's Grill & Bar

Generous and huge portion served at Chili's Grill & Bar always attract me back for more. Its been quite some time since I last at Chilis, in fact, this is my first time in Chilis in One Utama. Two mains, desserts, and countless of bottomless drinks can make some one feel so bloated at the end of the day!

To start, we ordered, 

Southwestearn Grilled Lamb

I choose Grilled lamb with Chili's special marinade. Served with mashed potatoes (my favourite!)  with black pepper gravy, seasonal veggies (fresh broccolis) & garlic toast. Taste good!

Monterey Chicken

 I suggested this to B,  its marinated, grilled chicken breast with BBQ sauce, beef bacon, cheese & diced tomatoes. Served with mashed potatoes with black pepper gravy & seasonal veggies. He loved this so much!

Coke and Guava for Drinks.

I've a sweet tooth and to keep my sweet tooth satisfied, B ordered Molten Chocolate Cake for us! Warm chocolate cake with chocolate fudge filling. Topped with vanilla ice-cream under a crunchy chocolate shell. Priced at almost RM20. I would say this simply worth and would never disappoint you. I would definitely look for this for my 1st favorite dessert after Pavlova. Sinfully good ;)

Molten Chocolate Cake

In summary, I must say that Chili's has always been a great place for some good semi-Western Food. Somehow, I realise that it's one of the Restaurants in my list that I've never stop returning to, be it with my family, my other half or with my friends. Anyway, our dinner was good and we really enjoyed it. Not to mention our tummies being overloaded to the max!  And double stomach bloating to B! hehehe.

Am I ?

Well to be honest with you people, I would consider myself as happy go lucky, enjoys life, love adventure, loves to play a lot, and not a jealous boyfriend!

Okay, so, the key word here is JEALOUS! so there a lot of types of jealousy... but in this context we would discuss only two. So what are these two? well let me copy pasta it for you. :

• Romantic jealousy – Romantic jealousy can be experienced in long-term or short-term relationships. One partner can feel the emotion of jealousy arise if the other partner is paying more attention or time with someone else. To lose services from one partner and have their attention directed towards someone else does not have to be in a romantic way. One partner could be spending more time with a friend that no romantic feelings could ever develop.

• Platonic jealousy – Platonic jealousy is a form of jealousy that is seen in friendships. Platonic jealousy is similar to romantic jealousy in the way that this type of relationship can lead to jealousy in result of fear of being replaced, having competition or being compared to a third party. For example, the intense emotion of jealousy can arise if two friends that are females decide that they like the same man and both want to possibly start a romantic relationship with him. Comparison and competition will more often than not lead to the two females experiencing the emotion of jealousy.

So.. bla bla bla.. I feel as said in the Platonic Jealousy, it could lead to Romantic Jealousy, (what is what? read it peopleeeee!!) Anyway, I'm just stating that, I admit that i can be sometimes jealous. Well that's what man do, cos as an Alpha Male, we love to be dominant, when there's a Guinea Pig ( not intend for anyone ) for example crossing your territory, well you would bite his head off like a Lion!! or maybe you could ask him to go away politely if you are a well-educated -tiger ( a line in P.Ramlee's movies) huhu.

Well to wrap it up, i would leave you guys with this song by Sheila on 7 ~ See Yaaa!!

p/s: jealous or not, i love you baby! ~a.s.a~

Me, My Love & His Friends - Seoul Garden!

Yesterday me and my boyfriend had our breaking-fast with his friends at Seoul Garden, located in One Utama Mall. That was my first time there. To begin with, that was the first time I had dinner together with his friends but wasn't the first time I met and spent together with them.

Well, my boyfriend is part of a very tight knit circle of friends. The group that always spending time and play together. One, Scheidy and Wife, Isyam, Nawi, Jolimi Jol, Dollah, Wafie and Gf, Azar, (those that I've met) and the others. They've known one another since in  their secondary school if not earlier. I adore his female and male friends (in a very platonic manner). They're fantastic, vibrant, and kind individuals. They've openly stated that they consider me to be a part of their tight knit group, that they like me, and that I feel comfortable when Im around them. I even closed with one of his close friends and it has even aroused some jealousy in my boyfriend. He might felt that some of his friends were showing more than a platonic interest in me. He once said that he felt jealous that I seemed to "glow" while talking with his friends, especially when I laugh out loud. He do know and feel that I was not flirtatious or harboring any feelings of romantic attraction for his friends, which I myself think it won't happened. Just to make it clear, I do not have any romantic interests in any of his friends. B, I always smell jealousy in you, and I like it! Hee.

So back to the story, we really had much time together.  The food was very good for a buffet and we enjoyed it. The price seemed very reasonable considering there was a lot to choose from. The buffet was tasty with variety and a little something for everyone. Friendly staff. I have to say that for a place that was as busy as they were, the service was great. Plus with the environment and the lighting feel of the restaurant is pretty inviting. I likee!! I would suggest this place to everyone and we will definitely come back there.

Below are some pictures of Seoul Garden One Utama. P.s: Those wasn't taken yesterday, took it from Google Images. Waiting for his friend Azar to upload them.

Here we are! LG345, Lower Ground Oval, it may look small from the outside, but I tell you, the atmosphere is great. Cleanliness is guaranteed.

 

No comment on this. Am not sure what it is, but for seafood lovers, should try this out. For starter, I suggest you to dip it with sauce.

This is the hot plate used for cooking and there's a hot pot in the middle for soup. Those who don't actually do in cooking, I would say this is not that hard.  Just put on everything, let them cook well and done! 3-5minutes only. Simple and ready to eat! Yummy! Here, I recommend beef blackpepper and spicy beef.

Whenever I do..

Whenever I miss you,

I would smile,

Cos I knew you would miss me too.

Whenever I say I love you,

I would glow,

Cos You would say you love me too.

Whenever.. I would always do..

<3 <3 love.miss.care.be by your side.pip ponia <3 <3

p/s: Even prince charming could not charmed you away from me, as I'm Prince of Love, Protector of your Heart ~ a.s.a ~

Ponia's Treat!!

Yesterday, we ate at Tony Romas Pavilion, Ponia had a Short Rib, while i ordered Chicken Grilled, the service was okay, the food, well, ponia's rib kinda overcooked and it's too soft.... while mine was a bit "liat" hahaha.. but the potato skin was great!! the drinks too.. hehehe... anyway.. thank you my lovely ponia for the treat... next time makan Tarbush yeee.... hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

p/s :  love you much ~a.s.a~

Happy Anniversary Love!

Yesterday was a very special day for me and my boyfriend. It was our first anniversary celebration. It’s been three months of adjustment, of learning, of facing odds, of having fun, of growing faith. Three months of laughter, tears, fears, dreams and planning. But most of all, it’s been three months of love and understanding. Three months of realizing that when you believe in God everything happens for a good reason. 

The road that brought us here may not be perfect for the world, but it’s perfect for us. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, but here with you. Because I love you, and I will forever, until we’re old and wrinkled. I appreciate your love, understanding, listening, humor, flexibility and energy. I know loving me is hard work. Sayang, thank you for all you do for me, for all you allow me to do for you. Thank you for being you. God bless you today and always, and may He keep us together until death do us part. I look forward to more tomorrows with you, my love, my apoponey poo.

Back to the story, he brought me to Delicious, a pretty fancy restaurant. We had our wonderful Iftar (break-fast for Muslim) together with delicious foods we had! I wanted to eat this more often, but for now, it’s our favorite special treat for special occasions. 

Melted Chocolate with Marshmallows

Duck Confit
with charred Potato, Mushrooms, Sauerkraut & Mustard Cream Sauce

Tastes a little like chicked but more richer and slightly gamey, I cannot describe it, but it is quite a strong meaty flavour, perhaps like turkey, but subltler and moister. I love it! And yeah with well balanced mustard cream sauce, absolutely DELICIOUS!

Berrilicious Chocolate Pavlova

A delicious and addictive dessert, pavlova have a light crisp outer shell with strawberries and chocolate chip! Fuh!

 

Because I friggin love!!!

I don't understand I don't understand and Im seriously DON'T UNDERSTAND!! What's wrong with kissing? what's wrong?? People kiss because they are attracted to each other! So what??

Okay, maybe for people point of view, as a Muslim, they will say that kissing and making out are sins against purity. They believe that kissing and making out is only reserved for the married. Okay fine, I do know that and truly understand the boundaries. But for my point of view, at least it does not lead in sex before marriage!

Ridiculous nonsensical dogma. If you don't mate with the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with you are doing yourself a huge disservice. Okay, now prove that Im wrong here. Where does it say in Al-Quran that kissing is a sin? It basically just says don't do anything that would cause you to sin. So, you have to decide for yourself whether or not you can handle kissing or if you think it would lead to sex.

Its actually what you choose to do with those things will either lead you down to Allah's path of life or the world's path of death. The fact is, anyone can kiss. It takes a strong Muslim rooted in a mindset of purity to WANT to save themselves for marriage. Kissing prior to marriage isn't listed in the Al-Quran as a sin, but it could lead to sin. Okay then correct me with this!

Or maybe in Al-Quran they would say this "Bahawa sesiapa sahaja yang melihat seorang wanita bernafsu, sudah berzina dengan dia di dalam hatinya.", Oleh itu jika dia menyamakan pandangannya berahi dengan zina, bagaimana serius yang kamu fikir dia akan melihat mencium sebelum berkahwin" It means that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.", therefore if he equates a lustful gaze with adultery, how serious do you think he would view kissing before marriage??

Okay but then again it is more an issue of personal purity. We are to stay pure until marrige, and some people are willing to bend different rules and go on thier own terms of purity. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. Okay, maybe I am wrong as I do know as a Muslim, I know and I know that kissing in this way outside of the bonds of marriage neither proves nor enhances true love!!!

Okay so its my fault, my bad, I did sins. Many. Forgive Me. I have my flaws. But this is all about love. I may be wrong in this part but those feelings I can't hide. Im sorry. If its not because of love, I wouldn't be me.

P.S : Im not like my parents, who don't actually hold hand for years before they got married. But this is me.  I, personally like when a guy takes my hand when we are walking. Because of one thing. Because I love him. I love you. That's the only answer of why I kissed you! And I don't regret it!

Because I love Sayanggg...

Menu Berbuka

Salam Ramadhan,

Hari ini, demi ponia tercinta, misi memburu dan mencari rangka ayam goreng akan dilaksanakan.

Saye berdoa agar tercapailah hajat bidadari hati.

 Gambar di atas adalah ilustrasi penulis agar xtersilap beli dan juga pemangkin semangat!! grrrr AYAM!!!

p/s : bila hatiku bertemu hatimu, bagaikan masa terhenti, memberi ruang untukku menatapi wajahmu. ~a.s.a~

Let no one think I gave in.

I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering. Everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do.Its like walking down to a busy street and stand in a center of a crowd. And you aren't sure whether you're walking toward something, or if you're just walking away. 

I'm afraid to give you my all, I'm afraid to love you completely. What if or if.. Maybe you are just reeling me in until you turn around and drop me. I'd fall so far and deep, I wish I could see the ending sometimes. I would know if I should hold on to you and keep going or just let it all end before I get up too high.

Because love hurts. I say that because I know. Love is... or was amazing. Huh! Ya Allah! please forgive me. I’m sorry that “upset” and “disappointed” seem to be the initial emotions that I feel whenever I hear what I think is bad news. It doesn’t last long usually. 

Everything will be okay. Right?

Last Night - When its all about us

I woke up early this morning around 4am with the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate, I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep, but thoughts of us kept keeping me awake.

P.s : I find the answers aren't so clear, wish I could find a way to disappear

People's Stories

Accidentally - I found one more tear drops

Today, I felt a bit hurt.

But I don't wanna talk about it.

I wish it had never happened.

Not from you Sayang.

I wish I didn't hear what you've said.

Goodnight.

I love you!

Dear Aqeel,

Ever since you walked into my life. I have been smiling. Sayang, I am glad that you came into my life. I have always wanted the love of my life to be understanding, loving, caring, and faithful. I wanted someone who would accept me for who I am. I know that I’ve found that person in you. Our life together is already amazing, and together it will only get better and better. I will forever be grateful that you came into my life and made all my dreams come true. Together we're perfect, and I will enjoy enjoying spending the rest of my life with you. I love you more than words can say. And sayang, physical distance can never separate us. Though we are sometimes far apart, I always feel your presence and I know even you do.

Thank you for everything sayang. I pray to God every day to bless you with everything you deserve. I will love you until the end of time

Body, Mind, Heart and Soul~

I love you

As I pray to Allah S.W.T

YA ALLAH, please give me the strength to overcome what i am facing right now
You are the only one I would always turn to